who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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