Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
