please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
