apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
