he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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