I must be too annoying 4 u.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
