Whod you bang
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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