I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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