discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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