If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
