she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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