No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
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