This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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