laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
