I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
