i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
