so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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