Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
