she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
