just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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