ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
