i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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