she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
