Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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