Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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