I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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