How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
