i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
