how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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