You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
