omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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