i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
