Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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