It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
