so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
