they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize