Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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