So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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