p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
