they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
