I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
