Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
