The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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