This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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