He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
