we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
