i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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