I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Never joke about your clitoris.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
