I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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