YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
