Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
