...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
