I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
