Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
