First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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