ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize