she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
