We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
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