im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
