writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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