nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
